Refinement

Its no secret that every person, and every family encounters its fair share of challenges. Because everyone has their own struggles I choose not to dwell on mine/ours (or at least I try) and I certainly don't choose to air those struggles over the Internet. That being said, I think there is much wisdom to be gained through sharing our stories. So without over-sharing, and most of our closest friends and family know that about the very strained / almost non-existent relationship within my husband's family and us due to ongoing hurt, disappointment and lack of respect our extended family has shown us over the last nine years. Certainly something that many of us have encountered in one way or another. Through these experiences, it has surprised me to learn how conflicted not only I am but we as a couple still are after all these years over making decisions on how to deal with them especially at extended family functions.

Once again we are faced with the challenge of finding a solution to this as we have Ben's extended family picnic coming up in mid-August. Last year we decided not to go for a couple of reasons, we had a dog show for Odin, Ben's brother and his wife had just had a baby and we are forbidden to see the baby per them, one of the cousins was also pregnant and the biggest reason was that at the prior year's event there was a fight between Jon and Ben that caused the whole family who never needed to know abut the issue to be involved and we were very embarrassed not only for what had happened but that our side of the family could not be respectful in someone else's home and get along even if that meant avoiding being in the same room for one day.

So here we are again, deciding to go to this years picnic and get to see everyone who we haven't seen in a year or pass on it and ensure that the drama is not brought into the hosting family's home.

This morning though, I found the blog Sanctified Pearl. K.C. wrote today about sea glass and how it is that something so beautiful can only become that way through the pain and struggle of hardship. She wrote:

"I see my life (and the life of my friend) as a little piece of beach glass. We aren’t always sure how we will survive different circumstances in our lives. We think we will break under the constant crashing of disappointments, hardships, and trials. But, if a piece of discarded trash can become something beautiful and valuable, I have to believe my Creator is doing much the same with me. He is refining me. Smoothing the rough edges. Softening the exterior that can cut and be dangerous. He values me and with the break of each wave, I am becoming more of who I was created to be. And you are too."

I wanted to 1) save this for another day as a reminder of the refinement that is happening in my own life and us a couple and 2) share this with anyone else who might stumble across this post because I truly believe that we can learn and grow by cautiously opening our hearts to each other.